Your mom is rated E for Everyone
July 11, 2007
I vividly remember the news that E3 2007 was supposed to be a wholly different affair: less companies attending, less glamor, easier on the booth babes. A subdued trade show that would not be a gigantic money sink for the companies that attend. The faithful gamers were terribly distraught. No big collection of E3 videos? No crazy surprises? No wild parties we only wish we could attend?
Theoretically, all these things came to pass. I'll be damned if I can tell the difference at this year's E3, however. GameSpot still has a huge selection of videos, Microsoft is still giving us demos from the show and Kaz Hirai is still saying "Riiiidge Racer!" Nothing has changed, except there are interviews with non-attendees who try very hard not to sound like pouting children.
Well, maybe something has changed. Each company highlights their big games and announces some bizarre new product upgrade that either (a) has been leaked prior to the show, or (b) no human being will ever buy.
Microsoft goes first and announces that their console's game selection for 2007 is super awesome. Bioshock, Halo 3, Project Gotham 4 and Mass Effect are coming exclusively to the Xbox 360. Good to hear. They whip out a custom Halo 3 console in time for the holiday season and we ask... why? Why couldn't this special Halo 3 edition be an Elite model rather than a standard 20GB unit? And could they even find a single Halo fan who doesn't have an Xbox 360 by now? Who is supposed to buy this brown thing?
Nintendo follows the next day and invites nods and guffaws from yours truly. Release dates for Smash Brothers, Metroid Prime 3 and Mario Galaxy are all this holiday season: good. Mario Kart Wii is coming (and online): about time. Planning new Wii channels involving Miis: fine. Developing a "zapper" plastic peripheral, a Wii steering wheel and a Wii Fit game with some sort of Jazzercise floor mat: huh? Doesn't anybody at Nintendo read Joystiq? Don't they know we've been conditioned to hate the idea of people selling unnecessary accessorwiis?
Sony, the laughing stock of E3 2006, has gone a long way to redeeming themselves. First and most importantly, Killzone 2 is shown running in real time. It looks good. Not as good as the target render they released two years ago, but good enough to stand against Gears of War (or rather, the inevitable Gears of War 2, as Killzone 2 isn't coming until 2008). I particularly like the emphasis on weather. The dust swirling in the trailer looked wonderful.
They also showed off Home, displaying some slick features: launch and return to games via the Home interface, take camera phone shots and put them up in your pad, and a social networking site that hooks into Home. I'm not looking forward to the idea of buying Nike shoes with Home micro transactions, but I'll give them the benefit of the doubt for this virtual space. I have to, because there's nothing else to play on this damned console that didn't come out on the PS2.
