Sony's rain-slick precipice

Monday, May 21, 2007

Let us speak of desire.

The story goes that boys like their toys, especially those that are new and shiny. I am not immune from this desire. My two shiny toy desires are (you remember) Sony's Playstation 3 and Microsoft's Windows Vista. One of them is not very new at this point and the other I happen to have in my possession thanks to my various travels.

I suppose it's sad for Sony that their game device is an agent of evil in my mind rather than a glorious step forward. The PS3's price tag is a staggering $600, not including shipping or tax (which brings it up to a healthy $645 here in Tallahassee). Unlike the Xbox 360, it plays all my old PS2 games just fine... assuming I buy a $15 memory card adapter and two PS2 controller adapters for $30 (for Guitar Hero and my DDR pads). So, seven hundred dollars to replace my PS2 and have no new games to play. Outrageous, and this is still gleefully discounting each game's $60 price tag. At least I wouldn't have to buy a stupid memory card.

For anyone with an Xbox 360 the PS3 lineup is miserable. Rehashed Xbox titles like Oblivion and FEAR have lower frame rates, less expansion options and, inexplicably, longer load times. There are the killer app titles: WWII with Aliens and Mildly Entertaining Dirt Racing. Then there are the exclusive games that should never have been released on any platform: Justifiably Untold Legends, Mobile Screw-up Gundam and Giant Enemy Crabs for Massive Damage. And as a public service announcement, let me say that Enchanted Arms still sucks. Even when you go from regular strength gay on the Xbox 360 to All-New MegaGay® on the PS3.

Despite actual compelling evidence I'm still drawn to the PS3 because of how shiny it is. I made it to a self-imposed May 8, 2007 deadline without buying one just to test my resolve. Now, with resolve tanks pumping out full... um, resolution, I don't feel much stronger. I don't have a PS3, but in the face of reality described above I still want one. What's wrong with me, aside from the fact that I am but a man?

In a similar but far less expensive twist I now have Windows Vista on the brain. I upgraded my computer's hard drives, video card and put in a new SATA controller. Big mistake. I had a copy of Vista lying around and decided to install it for giggles. Oh, what a laugh that was. It installed fine, but running the damn thing is an assault on the eyes. I hate the new, All-Black-With-No-Right-Side-Icons Start Menu. I hate the fact that they took out the word "start", making it an even smaller target than Apple's apple menu. I hate the toolbars that look like an early demo of OSX, with no space between each button. I hate the wasteful Gadgets sidebar, Windows Media Player 11, unhelpful display options and ultra low contrast everything. Hate it hate it hate it. Hate the implied suggestion by its release that someone would find it useful (and this is discounting Microsoft's ample marketing push to unambiguously declare it is useful).

At the moment I am back running Windows XP, but I still desire it. The OS is both shiny and new, works with all my games and is for intents and purposes free. It is, as you all know, my destiny: since DirectX 10 is exclusive to Windows Vista and Crysis is built for DX10's awesome new effects, how can I resist? Better to install it now and get it over with, right? Learn to love your glowing, translucent master.

I think I'm gonna be sick.