Scouters and power levels

October 23, 2006

I'm really surprised that a game like Kingdom Hearts II actually ends. But Sunshine and I finally got to the end of ends and handed the bad guy his defeat. I'm trying to make this sound like a purely mechanical victory, because I was kind of confused. First off: who is the bad guy? Also, why do we have to kill him? Finally, what would happen if we failed? The giant glowing "Kingdom Heart" in the sky didn't seem like a harbringer of doom to me. But anyway, with the plot out of the way, I'm playing through KH2 again. It's really amazing how fast the game goes when you skip most of the inane plot cinematics. I'm six hours in and about five worlds down. The combat is fun when you really try and balance out the melee with magic attacks. And use the dozens of AP Boost items it turns out we've been collecting.

Gaming overload is probably what's causing me to retreat to the relative simplicity of Kingdom Hearts. Okami still is only a third done, and now Double Agent and Bully are here. Double Agent is about what I expected. Another linear Sam Fisher adventure that thinks it's a real spy title. I shouldn't complain, though. I've been fooled three times by this series. Now I'm just there for the graphics. Oh, they don't disappoint: turn on your electromagnetic goggles in the middle of a power plant and enjoy the light show. But I keep feeling like the game thinks I'm too stupid to be trusted with a real infiltration. Deus Ex will forever be my spy game hallmark at this rate.

And Bully is finally here for the masses to enjoy. I'll tell 'ya, the real frustration with this game is the frame rate. It's steady, all right: corpselike would be the best term for it. I wondered what they were doing when they cancelled Xbox support. My hope was "optimizing this game for the PS2", but I've played PSP titles that felt smoother than this one.

The violence in Bully is, I will say, appropriately rated. There's no blood, no guns, and no dismemberment. At least it follows internal ESRB consistencies. Still, I get a little nervous watching kids beat each other up and throw garbage can lids at jocks. Does it make me think a kid will play this game and then go into school and try this for real? Yes, actually. I'm no child psychologist, but I can see why Whacko Jacko (no, not that one) would be crying foul.

Of course, here's the thing. If this game were a book, there would be no problem at all. Nobody wants to be seen as a book banner or book burner (cough), but games supposedly present an easy target. Nine unconstitutional laws later, we know better, happily. My biggest beef with Bully is how the administrators at Bullworth Academy keep calling me "boy." That's the kind of thing that will drive somebody crazy.

Also, I think we have a new Internet meme on the way. I'm proud to be joining the cause.