Red, White and Green Green

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Lo, there is hope in Anime Town. I thought I had missed the boat on new, good anime, but it seems one or two decent shows are still hiding under the radar. Well, one is under the radar. Another one is having sex with the radar operator and a third got hit by Brilliant Dynamites Neon and is a little confused.

The worst of the three, so far, is Trinity Blood. Which is actually an acronym for Trigun + Vampires + Equilibrium + Evangelion = blah. Okay, so that was an equation, not an acronym. And Trinity Blood technically isn't bad. I'm just jaded; I've seen the essential components of this show and I'm uninterested in how they've been combined. You've got your Vash the Stampede wannabe, Abel Nightroad, who clearly got the short end of the stick when they were handing out cool names. And yes, Evangelion fans, that's "Abel" from "Cain and Abel". In episode one we learn that Abel is some kind of super vampire killer. In episode two he selflessly protects a little girl who has telepathic powers. In episode three he eats a box of donuts, gets drunk and meets this guy in the desert with a huge cross and...

No, that's Trigun again, dammit. I couldn't be bothered to watch episode three. Abel's creepy pointy face is freaking me out. How does he shave? Surely the flat parts are easy, but what about the 45° angle where his neck and chin intersect? Scary.

Anime two is only slightly better than Trinity Blood. Let's consider it as one step below Steel Angel Kurumi, and two steps above Trinity Blood. Hint: that's still not a great place to be. It's Green Green, that we met... um, last time. Green Green is a show about boys and girls and the mutual attraction between them. And (let's be clear about this) absolutely nothing else. This is the first show I can point to where the boys being accused of being perverts actually are perverts. Or, at least one of them is.

The first loser is a fat slob obsessed with having a harem: fairly normal. Another thinks he's super suave, but at least he understands the word "monogamy." More normal still. The third guy is a bruiser type who wants a younger girl to call him "big brother" so he can eat endless bowls of rice while sitting next to her and smelling her clothes. Now that's creepy.

The main thrust of the show is that Midori has come from the future to be with Yusuke forever. She has the uncanny ability to dislocate her lower jaw like a snake when she smiles (see above). The two of them go to this newly co-ed school deep in the mountains where hijinks ensue. Really. That's about all that happens. The pervert trio tries to get a glimpse of the girls in their underwear and the girls fight back. What saves this from my trash pile is that: (a) it's quite funny, (b) some of the antics are stuff only the Japanese could think up, and (c) the boys actually succeed every once in a while. Operation Remove Bra With Fishing Rod was a remarkable success. Oh, and I suppose it helps that the intro features totally naked people (NSFW). It makes sense that this was originally a hentai computer game.

Finally we come to a show I can say is "good." Not great, mind you, but definitely watchable. Bleach, like Trinity Blood, is a hybrid of a bunch of other shows. It's got some ghost hunting, some high school kids, a few people who act really odd, and magic spells and stuff. It also has a wonderful sense of timing, a delightfully sarcastic "sidekick" and a main character who's not Shinji Everyman. Bleach does indeed refer to what he did to his hair. It's orange now. The plot is fairly simple: our main main Ichigo Kurosaki can see ghosts. One day he meets up with a Soul Reaper and becomes one himself. Then things get weird.

Even explaining this show too much brings spoilerification, so I'll leave it at that. The first two episodes are wonderful: they actually induce a sense of shock in the viewer at one point. Have you ever watched a show where a character is really surprised to see another person? Usually I've already predicted what's going to happen or they've kept me completely in the dark (and thus apathetic). With Bleach, I was actually as shocked as Ichigo when the moment came. What a novel sensation! So Bleach gets a pass even though it has an atrocious intro song (sung by a whiny male artist) and seems to be getting slightly more sappy and illogical as the disc goes on.

Final Fantasy VI Advance is out. I'm so happy... they redid all of the dialogue and sound effects and music! Plus they only screwed up one music theme! Know what it is?

The main battle tune. Ugh. Claw my ears out with a rusty fork, why don't you?