More like World of Warhammer. Online. Craft.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Massively multiplayer games may need to be classified as controlled substances. I keep trying each new one that comes out, hoping it'll have the smooth aroma of World of Warcraft without inducing Westfall Dry Mouth or Teldrassil Skin Discoloration. Warhammer Online is the closest anyone's ever come to challenging Blizzard's juggernaut. It promises epic PvP encounters and the encyclopedic Tome of Knowledge as well as smaller delights like armor dyeing and collision detection. There isn't the glass ceiling of Lord of the Ring Online and none of the forced 20 level solo play in Age of Conan. Here's one to root for, if not jump ship.

Getting started with Warhammer was a breeze, probably thanks to my existing account from Dark Age of Camelot. Put in the key, accept the agreement and you're done. Oh sure, there was about an hour spent patching the game, but the servers were snappy and I didn't have to rely on any peer to peer BS. Unfortunately, these kudos are instantly repealed during the game's opening. You have the unskippable EA/Mythic/Games Workshop logos, the skippable CGI intro, and then another unskippable video of the logo flying into view. By this time in Warcraft I've already killed my first monster. And I’m not even counting the fact that you have to accept the terms of service every single time you launch the game. If your lawyers are telling you this kind of player abuse is necessary, Mark Jacobs, you need better lawyers.

Remember the shock when Mythic announced they cut half the game's classes? I was actually looking forward to playing an Orc Mathguard. Worry not: the remaining options are pretty cool. You can be a witch hunter. Or a fine Legolas impersonator. Or an evil Mage that rides on something that looks like Tenser's Floating Disc. Neat, huh? Except that many visual options are tied to your class, not just your race. As a Bright Wizard (i.e. Fire Mage) my choices of hair are: Vegeta, Super Sayian Vegeta, or some variant of an 80's Mohawk. Early in the game I searched desperately for respite in the form on a hat.

Humans start in the lovely town of Grimmenhagen, sort of a cross between Northshire and Hellfire Peninsula (there's grass and explosions). If this were Everquest 2 and the NPCs talked, everyone would be screaming. Screamy guy #1 would be the requisite Huge Dude in Armor who tells you to go murder three marauders currently marauding the flaming houses behind the tavern. Ah, your first kill quest. You can also pick up another quest to save the people inside the houses, a dim lot if they prefer safety and immolation to running and disemboweling. Thus your first activity feels substantial: kill the marauders in front of the house, then click the door and let out the fearful villagers. Then move on to the next house, lest you see the marauders and villagers respawn and continue marauding and cowering.

Combat doesn't stray too far from WoW's template, though the class roles have been jumbled a bit. As a Bright Wizard I can cast fireballs and place damage over time spells. And there's a combo point system called "combustion." I haven't had a chance to explore the other classes but they're probably as grab-baggy as this one. You start to get the feeling that those other classes were cut because they ran out of gameplay combinations. I don't really mind mixing things up, I'm just not sure what my role is anymore.

I am happy to report that Mythic spent some time fixing Warcraft's annoyances instead of just photocopying. For instance, if a quest says to collect 10 yeti skins, how many yetis would you need to kill? If you said "potentially infinite," Mythic would like your $15 a month. An early quest had me venturing into Murder Wood (yes, everything is named like this) to bring back 10 beastmen horns. Each dual-horned beastman coughed up no less than one horn. It was amazing! It was unbelievable! It was... pathetic that I have been conditioned to think "the way things should work" is a novelty rather than a given. We're nearing the launch of Wrath of the Lich King, but surely Blizzard can appropriate this "innovation." Setting the drop rate to 100% is all it takes, guys.

Public quests would be much harder to steal, but well worth the effort. They're the new revolution in MMO questing, a logical upgrade of Stitches rolling hungrily into Darkshire. Say you come across a spooky manor in the woods. You notice there are a few players there fighting off witches, so you join the fray and drive them off. Then a squad of evil mages show up, and behind them is a 40 foot giant who smashes trees and sends your tanks flying. After a hard battle you topple the beast. A gold chest appears and you roll for loot depending on your effectiveness during the encounter. All without clicking an Accept button. Public quests are freely joinable, scripted multi-stage encounters with good rewards and a quick reset counter. You'll find them everywhere; they're a lot of fun and worth the effort.

Unlike Age of Conan, which disgusted me pretty quickly with its pretentions toward maturity and hellhole of a starting area, I can't find anything to dismiss Warhammer Online right off the bat. Graphics are fine, questing is fine, combat is fine. If I could extract the public quests there would be nothing special that I care about. So, um, congratulations Mythic, for releasing this perfectly acceptable game. I'll be sure to write something nice about you in the memo field of the check I send to Blizzard every month.